THE LETTER OF RESIGNATION – THE RIGHT WAY TO BREAK UP
So, here you are, sitting with a job offer letter in the palm of your hands. This is the offer that many applicants never made it to the interview stage. This is the offer that took months and many rounds of interviews for you to cross the finish line. Plus, the emotional length that you went through to avoid detection from your boss, do your due-diligence, and the courage that you displayed in negotiating the terms of that offer.
But now you have a very emotional decision to make, and one that you are not looking forward to doing.
You are about to leave the team that went into battle with you. A boss that you respect and an organization that will benefit from the operation that has taken you years to build. You are leaving everything behind. And in addition to that, you will have to tell the story of how you got to this point in the relationship.
So, you reflect, but the question that you should ask yourself is this: what is the number one thing that stands in the way of going after my dreams in life or being truly great at doing something?
Do you know what the answer is? Your present job!
At this moment, your present job is standing between you and something much greater!
Most of us would like to believe that it has to be something like a very bad obstacle that stands between us and going after our dreams. But motivational speaker, Craig Valentine stated in one of his videos that it most likely will be something good; instead of something bad. He went on to say that the enemy of the best is not something bad; it most likely will be something good, that we end up settling for.
So, you think about that, as well as the other mental pieces that are floating through your mind. But the more you think about it, the more confident you become. And that’s because:
- You have learned very early in your career that more money was not the silver bullet that will make you happy in a work environment.
- You advanced your career the right way by putting your all into your work.
- You did not blackmail anyone into giving you what you wanted by threatening to leave them in a lurch.
That is something that you should be very proud of; it shows both maturity and professionalism on your part!
At the end of the day, here’s the reality: you simply fell out of love with who you truly are with your present employer. And even though you were not emotionally looking for a change, a mission-one that is more in line with who you truly are, found you. And, unfortunately it is with a another employer.
Now you have to break the news, that you are breaking up with him/her. And you want to do it in such a way as not to hurt his/her feelings, since the perception will be that you are dumping him/her for someone new.
How will you do this?
You tell it like it is. The problem is not him/her, it’s you!
H/she needs to understand that this is a legitimate opportunity that you will regret, for the remainder of your professional career, if you didn’t embrace it.
His/her main focus at this stage will be only to convince you that s/he can fix things to make you happy again. But your main focus for having this particular conversation is not to re-hash what could have been, or what could change. Your main focus is to start a new chapter in your life, both personally and professionally.
You start to feel your confidence level improve because you know in your heart that you have given your all as a dedicated worker and now your only wish is to leave with dignity and respect.
You are not burning any bridges because you are not leaving any time-bombs to explode afterwards or putting your replacement in a difficult situation. So, If there is anything that s/he can do for you at this stage, is to help you make your transition orderly and amicable.
Below is the only message that your boss needs to understand from this particular conversation:
Even though I was not actively seeking to leave ______ , an outstanding opportunity was presented to me. After a thoughtful evaluation, I have decided to accept this opportunity. As such, this notice will serve as my letter of resignation effective —/—/2015. During the next two weeks of employment, my objective is strictly to ensure an orderly transition. I thank you and everyone at ______ for giving me this opportunity, for which I am truly grateful.
Sincerely ____________ Date _____________
It’s short and to the point but it sends a message. The message is: even though I am not happy that you are leaving, I am happy that you are happy. I will be happy to have you back, in the future. As Mr. Valentine stated, it doesn’t matter how much more they will try to compensate you, your dream is not for sale.